grow

disappointment  anger  impatience  desperate
I've gone through all of these emotions during the past few months

honestly
I'm not doing anything great
as 'great things' always required great sacrifices
doubtlessly -- I say no to it
what I actually wish is to get a bit nearer to my dream
juz a little bit nearer
I'm not asking to have my dreams to be fulfilled at the next moment
juz a smooth path man   slow pace is even acceptable
that's all I want


however

still
a lot of unexpected obstacles pop out
a lot of troubles to be solved


I've never met these before honestly
I mean in this case
and I do not have any idea on solving them
I faced it   but I feel like wanna cry
It's really helpless when you get stucked and forced to stay away from ur dream


nevertheless
(haha another however after an however.. XD)
after settle down my mood for a couple of months
I feel thankful for everything I've gone through
thanks to my dearest dad and thanks to my lovely mum
and thanks to everyone who lend their hand for me before =)

You will never grow if you never fall
finally I get it haha



mayb my life is the way too smooth so far
I always fail to get used with rugged road
but now
I think it's GREAT~

cz it's time for me to grow up
time to be more mature  
time to practise a better EQ
time to be more independent
no more lazy no more childish
no more excuses to not to grow up


still
I can act as a girl (can I use girl.. ?!) lol
I can be playful and noisy
and looks like a going-to-be-19 years old gal
but my mind will be stronger and tougher
and I'll be able to stand still facing whatever situation
I'll be as strong as a TREE.. !!!! haha


good ally
tis is your new year wish
and you better make it k
cz u'll be a going-to-be-20 gal next year
no more time to waste man
so work it now.. !!!!
GO GO GO

麻烦的家伙

没办法想像    如果有一天有个男生 
只因为为了给我一个所谓的惊喜   
而连自身安危都不顾    横冲直撞地不顾一切  
我会有什么反应。。？

我想。。。。




我会愤怒吧！！
(甘蔗果然懂我。。=.=)

我一点都不觉得浪漫   只觉得他为什么分不清轻重
我根本不会欣喜若狂   只想着他为什么可以那么不成熟
我完全没办法假装虚荣心被满足的快乐
因为我当下应该只会怒火狂烧   气到中风吧


想想。。



我这人还真是不可爱   难讨好
可是。。haiz~
算了   反正我也没本事让人为我那么做
一减一   打平撤销   正好。。XD


p/s: 鸽子，我没有在反对你做的事
这文章纯属被你引发的一个想法  no offence.. ^^

平衡

爱人   很好
当每一个人都愿意
花一点点时间    一点点心思
去爱这个世界   爱身边的每一个人
我们每一天早上一睁开眼看到的世界
就会多一些些色彩   一些些希望
可是
若我们只懂得一昧的付出
眼里心里都只看见别人的一切
最后可悲地迷失了自己
这   又何尝是对的呢？


自爱   也很好
因为不懂得爱自己的人
根本没有办法健康   正确地去爱人
但是
太过于自爱的人   心里想的念的都是自己
理所当然地将自己的利益喜好摆在前端
理直气壮自以为是地以为世界本该绕着自己转
这种自私又丑陋的面貌    只会另人嫌恶与唾弃



在爱人与自爱中取得那优雅的平衡
是我们一生中不停学习的一门课

我也不懂自己在写些什么

放假回来将近一个月了
见了一些朋友   聊了一些近况
很自然   很轻松   很棒
唯一遗憾的是   大家好像都变得比较不快乐了


也许是升学的压力   人际关系的烦恼
或是感情方面的问题  
导致连很平凡的每一天   都看起来不可爱了
为什么呢。。？我好想大大声的问

或许被烦恼困扰着的朋友会很生气
觉得我什么都不懂 -- 但我真的不懂

每一天早上睁开眼来   看看阳光看看自己
还能轻轻地呼吸着   很幸福不是吗？
每一天看着身边所爱的人平平安安好好地活着
没有天灾没有人祸降临   很幸福不是吗？
每一天走在马路上对不熟悉的陌生人微笑
没有战争没有死亡  很幸福不是吗？


虽然我们偶尔会被压力压得喘不过气
但深呼吸   慢慢地抬起头   静下心
就会发现这并不是绝境  
我们没有被逼着面对束手无策   无可奈何的情况
我们究竟在难过什么？
哀怨什么   不满什么   抗议什么？
我们为什么永远都学不会满足这两个字。。？

战争国家的难民  
被天灾折磨的灾民
活在贫困国家的贫民
他们哪一个不是无辜的。。？
他们哪一个拥有选择的机会了。。？
一个都没有
他们用尽力气   只为求得生存的一口气
即使面对如此绝境   也从未想要放弃


我们呢。。？



我们的人生中
有父有母   有家人   有朋友
却一直学不来孝顺友善   学不来珍惜身边所爱的人
殊不知有些人   想爱   也来不及了
我们的生活里
有饱饭吃  有暖衣穿   有舒适的住处
却总是觉得不够不够
有了车   就想要更名贵的
有了衣   就贪要最名牌的
我们从来都没想过   在我们挥霍奢侈的当而
有多少的人   正在受苦受难挨饿受冻


讽刺的是
如此幸福的我们   其实脆弱得不堪一击
小小的压力   稍稍的不顺心   或是些些的挫折
就轻而易举地将我们打垮
放弃生命  放弃所爱和爱我们的人
如此草率   不尊重生命的态度
我才发现
活在象牙塔里的我们   其实是最可悲的




因为贪
我们永远都不了解何谓知足
总是拼了命地想要掠夺不属于我们的
却同时也看不清自己已经拥有的
因为嗔
我们永远都学不会宽恕
每天每天   都让自己和身边的人过得不快乐
因为痴
我们不明白何谓放下
一昧只懂得执著   甚至钻牛角尖
到最后把自己逼进了死胡同  
再为自己的逃避找借口


所以啊
我们已经拥有最幸福的一切了
就算遇上烦恼或不如意
那又怎样。。？笑一笑
其实真的没什么大不了的~

not a bad thing

well if I had this type of living style in the past few years

I believe I would scream and jump all the way

asking everyone beside me -- 'why am I so bad.. ? Keep wasting my time'

yeah time is precious I know

but honestly I don really dislike or unsatisfied with my life now

at least till this moment

I spent one week to prepare my IELTS test

sounds ridiculous right.. ?

I have the same feeling too

but in fact I spent more time on reading novels (Percy Jackson's series for the 3rd times) XD

cooking with my sister and maid

online watching movies and dramas

I indeed feel good with these activities.. ^^

(though they may be considered as wasting-time-activities)

btw my sister once asked me an interesting question in a curious tone

'y u hadn't meet any friends since u were back.. ?'

I said  no no my dear, I attended one small and warm gathering before

but to be honest this is a new record for me to meet friends merely once after I've been back for more than a week

AHAHAHA !!!!

it's totally not my style -- always keep myself busy and busy and endless busy

duh so I asked myself

'what made u change.. ?'

I think

maybe it's because I know that I have a abt 3 months holiday -- so I'm not rushing my schedule 

or perhaps I just feel tired of socializing

I do love socialize

but not all the times

though friends are still very important

trips and vacations are urgently needed

I'm still damn eager to have gatherings

I've made my mind to give my mind a break

At least a short break would be great too

anyway I feel so happy to find out that 

I'm actually able to slow down my pace if I wish

just simply look at everyone and everything around me with a calm manner

figure out lovely things that I've missed before

this kind of life is somewhat better than what I thought

I FEEL GOOD.. ^^

p/s: tomorrow is my dad and mum 21st anniversary and I plan to make them some olio spaghetti for celebration, wish everything goes smoothly.. !  

sharing something nice

If you born poor, it's not your mistake;
But if you die poor, it's your mistake.
                                                     ---- Bill Gates.

Three sentences for getting success:
- know more than other
- work more than other
- expect less than other
                                                 ---- William Shakesphere.

Winning doesn't always mean being first,
winning means you're doing better than you've done before.
                                                                                     ---- Bonnie Blair.

I will not say I failed 1000 times,
I will say that I discovered there're 1000 ways that can cause failure.
                                                                                     ---- Thomas Edison.

Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself.
                                                     ---- Leo Tolstoy.



Nice right these sayings.. ^^
It touched me a lot and made me awake a lot as well.

回不去了

18岁   每一个人一生中都只有那么一年的18岁

  
这个年纪的我们总是尽情地挥霍着青春  
带着一种不太成熟却又老爱假装自己很懂事的灿烂笑容
这个年纪的我们   很美

我们勇往直前   但实际上是横冲直撞
不顾一切的追逐着我们渴望的自由和梦想
就算是受了伤   跌了倒
我们还是可以马上站起来   大声说   我不痛
这份勇气   这份单纯和直率
这种为了梦想的奋不顾身
总会随着岁月的流逝而消失不见
所以这时候的我们   很美


但再美的曾经   再绚烂的岁月
都有过去的一天
我们的18岁   已经接近尾声了
但我不遗憾   不强留   不心疼
或许自己的18岁在别人的眼里是那么的平淡
但我还是觉得这段回忆很棒   我不后悔



唯一让我感叹的是   我们都回不去了

每个人其实都在用着自己的方式成长
这过程有笑也有泪     
或许不甘被绑住翅膀   没有办法任意翱翔
或许受了伤   不再天真烂漫
或许碰了壁   才发觉现实的残酷
每一个或许再或许   都渐渐地逼着我们长大
虽然铺陈的过去都不一样
但一样的是    我们都变了   也回不去从前的自己了


老实说    这并非坏事   因为我们都有必须长大的压力
我只是感慨   只是怀念
从前那个不懂事的自己