grow

disappointment  anger  impatience  desperate
I've gone through all of these emotions during the past few months

honestly
I'm not doing anything great
as 'great things' always required great sacrifices
doubtlessly -- I say no to it
what I actually wish is to get a bit nearer to my dream
juz a little bit nearer
I'm not asking to have my dreams to be fulfilled at the next moment
juz a smooth path man   slow pace is even acceptable
that's all I want


however

still
a lot of unexpected obstacles pop out
a lot of troubles to be solved


I've never met these before honestly
I mean in this case
and I do not have any idea on solving them
I faced it   but I feel like wanna cry
It's really helpless when you get stucked and forced to stay away from ur dream


nevertheless
(haha another however after an however.. XD)
after settle down my mood for a couple of months
I feel thankful for everything I've gone through
thanks to my dearest dad and thanks to my lovely mum
and thanks to everyone who lend their hand for me before =)

You will never grow if you never fall
finally I get it haha



mayb my life is the way too smooth so far
I always fail to get used with rugged road
but now
I think it's GREAT~

cz it's time for me to grow up
time to be more mature  
time to practise a better EQ
time to be more independent
no more lazy no more childish
no more excuses to not to grow up


still
I can act as a girl (can I use girl.. ?!) lol
I can be playful and noisy
and looks like a going-to-be-19 years old gal
but my mind will be stronger and tougher
and I'll be able to stand still facing whatever situation
I'll be as strong as a TREE.. !!!! haha


good ally
tis is your new year wish
and you better make it k
cz u'll be a going-to-be-20 gal next year
no more time to waste man
so work it now.. !!!!
GO GO GO